I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Drake has all the answers
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize