So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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