I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
