Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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