When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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