So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
