I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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