your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
