she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
