He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
