So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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