If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
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