well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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