Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
