the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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