Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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