So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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