so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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