when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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