It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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