She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
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