So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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