Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Is it penis luge time yet?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize