you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
one might say we're banned from that church
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize
