Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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