p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
