her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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