How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
