I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
im holly from the hills drunk
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
