i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
