I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
