Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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