sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
i need some magic done to my vagina
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
