He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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