the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
