Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I think my moral compass just broke
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize