talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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