JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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