you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
