I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
