I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
