Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
