is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
