I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
