I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
