I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
