For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
