he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
