I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Randomize