I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
