so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
you win again, gameday.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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