I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
