doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize