do herpes really smell.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
