Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Randomize
