Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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