the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
