Can Purell be used as lube?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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