I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
