marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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