hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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