I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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