I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
