omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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