Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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